In an interview with The Telegraph, former Arsenal defender Emmanuel Eboue has revealed that some suicidal thoughts have entered his mind following a one-year suspension from FIFA for refusing to pay an agent.
During his time away from the game, the Ivorian has acknowledged that his mental state has been severely affected.
"There are many days when I do not want to get out of bed," the 33-year-old began.
"One day I wanted to commit suicide.
"I stay strong for my family, but if I were alone, I would worry about what I could have done."
Eboue had signed with Sunderland before the decision was made regarding his suspension, but the ban led to his contract being retracted and he is now training with a semi-professional team as he waits for the final months to pass.
"It's the lowest moment of my career, it's a bad time," he continued.
"There are times where I spend a day or two in my room without leaving, just alone; I spend a lot of time thinking and reading the bible, and I say: 'Emmanuel, why are you doing this? It's not good for your family.'"
Fellow Ivorian compatriot Kolo Toure was handed a six-month ban for a failed drug test and he has given advice to Eboue.
"When Kolo Toure was complying with his ban, I was always talking to him," he mentioned.
"He had some difficulties at Celtic so I understand [why he has not been in touch]; I'm not going to say anything bad.
"All of them [former teammates, but particularly friends such as Toure] are my brothers and they know my problem, but I hope they call me one day.
"Of course it's disappointing, I thought the friendship was stronger; you have to be friends in difficult times, but that's life."